Igniting change when you aren’t “in charge”
One of the most common questions I get is, “When you see something that could be better but don’t have the power to fix it, what do you do?”
You hold up a mirror to the people who do have the power, that’s what. You help your leaders see exactly what you see.
Let me tell you a story about someone who used to work with me. Her name is Maria. One day, Maria asked if she could speak to me in my office alone. My stomach immediately turned into knots because I could sense that whatever it was she needed to talk to me about was serious.
Maria sat down across from me, looked me in the eyes, and told me that she didn’t feel that I was making decisions in line with our values. More specifically, she meant that I was allowing people to stay on the team who were great at cleaning but who were not good stewards of our culture and values. She told me that my failure to let these people go was affecting the morale of the team, so much so that it didn’t feel like we were the company we once were.
Maria didn’t sugarcoat it. She put it all out there. She was clear, she was direct, she was kind, and she told me that she knew I could do better. I knew I could do better too. Sometimes as leaders, our priorities get twisted. Sometimes, we let our focus stray from the most important parts of the organization. Sometimes, we aren’t aware of the impact our actions and decisions have on others. And sometimes it takes someone with Maria’s courage to look us in the eye and help us get back on track. Back on track I got.
Whenever someone without a “title” asks me how to spark change in their organization, I always ask a question in return: “Have you been honest with your leader?” What I mean by that is, have you really put it all out there? Have you shared everything on your heart and mind? Have you looked at your leader right in the eye (or these days, right in the computer screen)? Have you been direct and clear about the issues you see and the impact these issues are causing? Or, have you sorta-kinda put it out there. Sorta-kinda mentioned it. Put it in an email. Sugarcoated. Shared 20% of what the real issue is and the toll it’s taking on you and others.
Here’s the thing: Leaders are human. We can’t always read between the lines, and we have no idea what those we lead are truly feeling unless they have the courage to share it. Most leaders have their hearts in the right place. Most don’t intend to have a negative impact. Most are not aware of it. Some may be aware but might not know how to lead through it. They might need your help.
The point is that we have to give our leaders a chance. We have to give them the chance to show they care, and the only way to do that is to put it all out there. Once that happens, their actions will speak louder than words.
If you are truly honest with your leader and the response is completely dismissive of you and your feelings, you know what I think? I think you deserve better. I think you should work with a leader who cares about you. If the response is supportive but you don’t see change being initiated, ask your leader if you can help or take ownership and lead the change. It might be that your leader doesn’t have the bandwidth to implement it alone. And then, of course, sometimes the timing just isn’t right. Sometimes your leader knows the change is necessary but it isn’t feasible at the moment, and that might make you frustrated. Sometimes you may realize that your organization is no longer the place you want to be, but the timing isn’t right to make a move. What do you do in these cases?
My friend Simon Sinek often says, “Be the leader you wish you had.” If your leader isn’t showing up the way you want him or her to, YOU can show up how you want to. YOU can have an impact on those around you. YOU can make a positive difference in the lives of those you interact with every day. YOU can do the very things you expect your leader to do. We are all leaders. Leadership isn’t a title, a position, a rank. Sure, those things help us get stuff done faster, but leadership is earned. It’s about our actions, and you have the power to decide what your actions are each and every day.
If you have been struggling with the same question of how to ignite change in your organization, I hope this post inspires you to hold up a mirror to your leader and then make the decision that is best for you. And if you are leading a team, remember to check in with your people often. How are they feeling? What can be better? How can you empower them to lead the changes you cannot?
We need each other.
Big hugs,
