You are allowed to
I feel numb.
Things that once excited me don’t give me the same level of excitement.
I often find it takes extra motivation to do the smallest tasks.
Sometimes I stare at my to-do list and manage to avoid doing every single important thing on it.
I have no events to look forward to. No vacations on the horizon.
I feel blessed that my work keeps me so busy, and I’m also overwhelmed that I’m so busy.
I feel like some days I’m not the best fiancée. Bonus mom. Sister. Daughter. Friend.
I feel awkward in social conversations because it’s been so long since I’ve socialized.
At the end of the day, sometimes I don’t want to talk to anyone. Not a word.
I feel sad for the people I employ, who I know have been emotionally affected by this year. Social unrest. COVID. Education. Election. Hurricanes. And more.
I feel helpless. There is so much in the world that needs fixing, but I don’t know how to fix it. Which is really hard for a fixer.
Aside from giving my people constant love and support, I don’t know what else to give them. Maybe love and support is all I can give. Maybe there’s more and I just don’t know what that is.
I don’t mean to be a bummer, and my hope is that most of the time, this blog uplifts and inspires you. But I also want to be honest with you. And I have a feeling that you might understand what I’m going through. I don’t feel this way every day: I have periods of really great days where I have the opposite of these feelings, and then I get into a funk. And then I get out of it. And then I find myself back in it again.
I host coaching groups, and this funkiness has been a common theme. It almost seems like we find ourselves in the funk together and then we find ourselves out of it together. Maybe that’s what 2020 is: cycles of being in and out of funks.
I wrote this post to let you know that if you’re in this cycle too, you aren’t alone. There isn’t anything wrong with you. Your emotions are normal. You are allowed to have bad days and bad periods. You are allowed to have a funk party.
Have you ever heard of a “you are allowed to” list? Here’s mine for this season:
You are allowed to have blah days.
You are allowed to be unproductive.
You are allowed to not have the answers.
You are allowed to choose helping yourself over helping others.
You are allowed to feel sad.
What’s yours?
Big hugs,
Kristen
Have you heard about my new LIVE show on Wednesdays at 11 a.m. ET on Zoom? Think of it as real talk. I share all of the challenges I’m navigating as a leader and I also take questions from you! You can register here: https://bit.ly/3kWe2kT. It’s the same link each week. I’m moving on 9/2—same city, just a new place to call home—so my next LIVE will be on 9/9! Hope to see you there!
