Building trust through virtual meetings
A recent Zoom meeting with our whole team!
While no one knows exactly what post-pandemic life will look like, my gut says remote work and virtual meetings are here to stay. I think (and hope) that more organizations will give their people the option and flexibility to work remotely, but at the same time, we must consider the challenge that poses: How do we get really good at building, strengthening, and maintaining trust from behind computer screens?
My leadership team has been remote for nearly five years. When I think back to when we were in the office together every day, I realize how much we took those days for granted. We had so many opportunities to interact and build trust: going out to lunch, chatting in the hallway, stopping by each other’s offices. But when we became an all-remote team, we couldn’t rely on restaurant trips or office stop-ins to help us fill in the gaps of our relationships and implicitly build trust. All we had were computers and phones. I remember it felt hard and disorienting—a shock to the system.
After a lot of trial and error, this is what we discovered: Our meetings were everything. When we met in person, we weren’t always intentional or purposeful with our time. But now, our meetings were the only chance we had to be together, to build trust, and to get aligned. We had no choice but to figure out how to maximize every second of them. We started looking at the different types of meetings we could have and how often we needed to have them, and we made sure each one had a clear purpose. We tried agenda after agenda and schedule after schedule until we found a structure and cadence that felt right. And as soon as we got into our virtual groove, we experienced another shock to the system, like so many of you: this pandemic.
After we temporarily suspended our services, our team members (who typically clean houses in teams of two) could no longer physically spend time together. They couldn’t come to our office and see each other, and they couldn’t get to know each other during car rides and days spent cleaning together. It wasn’t just our executive team working remotely anymore; overnight, we became an all-remote company. And again, our meetings became everything. They were the only opportunity we had to help our team members feel connected to each other and to build trust company-wide during this crisis.
We’ve learned a lot about meetings in these last two months and in our many years as a remote leadership team. I thought I’d round up the most impactful practices we’ve adopted to maintain trust and navigate teaming from behind screens. Here they are:
We only meet on video calls, and we require everyone’s cameras to be on. We believe that seeing each other’s faces is more human, helps us feel connected, and leads to us being more present so that we leave our meetings feeling heard and seen—literally. Not to mention, 90% of communication is nonverbal, and a huge part of that is body language. When you don’t use video, you miss that component completely.
We begin meetings with personal check-ins. This is a time for people to check in about how they’re feeling, what’s happening in their personal lives, what’s weighing on them. It’s a way to build and maintain connection and relationship. For large meetings, we use a breakout feature so that people can check-in in groups of 3 or 4. We allow time to check in personally before we discuss business, which sends the message that our people come first.
We use meetings to address uncomfortable issues head-on instead of sweeping them under the rug. When you’re a remote team, it’s even more important to dive into difficult topics. If you ignore those topics, you risk destroying the trust you’ve worked so hard to build. It’s easier said than done, but here’s an example of how I do it: When I’m leading a meeting and I sense tension, I ask people to share their fears and frustrations, and then I’m quiet. I’ve learned that if I’m silent after I ask that question, someone will speak up. It just takes one person voicing their concerns for others to feel safe and follow suit.
We commit to using our listening skills in all meetings. Among other things, this means putting away physical and mental distractions and not interrupting or cutting people off. To help people get in the right mindset, we give them time to clear their heads by starting meetings with a minute of silence. When someone is speaking, we give them our full attention, and we only ask questions and give feedback when they’re done. That being said, we still need meetings to stay on track. When I’m leading a meeting, I’ll start by saying something like, “If I notice someone getting off-topic, I may have to interrupt. Please know it isn’t because I don’t care about you and what you have to say; it’s that we need to make sure we accomplish what we’ve gathered here to do.” If meetings are all we have, we need to make sure our teammates feel valued.
We have put a lot of thought into the types of meetings we have, the purposes of each meeting, the structure, the length, the frequency. And guess what? We created a guide for you that lays it ALL out there. Use it, build off of it, and save time from our lessons learned to make your meetings count. It’s a “pay-what-you-can” model, and all the money raised goes to helping our team during this time. You can access the guide here.
If you’d like to learn more, I’m also teaching live classes in Simon Sinek’s virtual classroom about building trust from behind computer screens in May and June. You can join me for a class by signing up here.
Happy meeting, and big hugs!
