We're not alone: How my mastermind group taught me it doesn't have to be lonely at the top
Last week was very special. The mastermind group I’ve hosted for more than three years gathered in Houston. We meet virtually every month, and last year, we started the tradition of meeting in person annually, so this was our second time doing that!
Let me backup a bit and give some context for how this group came to be. It’s modeled after a group I was part of when I was just beginning my journey as an entrepreneur.
When I was just starting out, I didn't know any other entrepreneurs. I was in my early 20s and often felt alone. My friends couldn’t relate to the challenges I faced: While they were at football games, I was wondering how I would make payroll. I was constantly running into challenges and didn’t know where to turn for help, and it was so isolating and oftentimes defeating.
At the time, I was going to every single networking event I could find, and I had become a member of the local chamber of commerce. It was at a chamber event that I was lucky enough to meet Rich, who would become one of my first mentors. He told me he was putting together a group of entrepreneurs from all kinds of industries whose businesses were all in the early stages. The idea was that he would bring the group together once a month to talk about what was going well and what wasn’t so that people could ask for and offer advice as needed. He said he would love for me to be a part of it, and I immediately said yes. It sounded like exactly what I needed.
And it was. In fact, it was incredible. Every month, we would meet for three, four, five hours, sometimes even more. In order to create a really safe space, we had a deal that what was said in the room stayed in the room. Not only would we share what was weighing on us as leaders and business owners, but we would also talk about our personal challenges and obstacles outside of our work. The thought was that it was all connected, so we shared all of it. We supported each other, validated each other, and gave each other advice and perspective. We walked alongside each other through all the ups and downs of building our businesses.
That group was invaluable to my growth as a leader and entrepreneur, and I’m forever grateful to Rich for bringing me in. I always knew that one day I would want to do what Rich had done and create a similar experience for others.
I first launched our mastermind groups during the pandemic. It was an incredibly isolating time, and the answer was community. Practically overnight, five groups formed, and we met every single month on Zoom throughout the pandemic. I am so grateful for those who were a part of our groups during that time. We supported each other and rallied around each other during one of the most trying times in leadership and in life.
Today, I host only one group due to decreased capacity. Spending time with this group in person last week reminded me of the power of community and of having a safe space where you can be honest about what’s working, what’s not, and what's weighing on you as a human and a leader.
I’m often asked for advice on finding mentors and other kinds of support, and the thing is that we all have the opportunity to be a part of something like this; we just might need to cultivate it ourselves.
For example, could you start a mastermind group within your own organization? What if you met once a month for lunch and talked about your wins and challenges while creating the space for people to offer support and perspective?
Or what if you gathered a group of four or five of your peers in different industries with similar roles, goals, or interests? What if you met for coffee once a month?
In case you are inspired to start your own group like this, here is the agenda that we follow in ours every month:
Check-In: First, we ask everyone to rate where they are on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best, 1 being the worst) both at work and outside of work. We give space for each person to explain their scores, and we encourage them to be really honest. We've learned that vulnerability is contagious. The more honest people are willing to be, the more honest others will be. It’s a critical part of the experience because it gives us context for the conversation that comes next.
Group Support: In part two, we move to group support. We ask everyone to consider the question, what do you need from the group? Those needs can vary every time. Sometimes, members are frustrated and just need to vent. Sometimes, they need advice from someone who has experienced something similar. And sometimes, members want perspective on the situation they’re struggling with, and they want the group to share their observations and point out potential growth moments. It requires us to be intentional with what we are hoping to get out of the experience and show up each month with a very clear ask.
There’s a saying in leadership: “It’s lonely at the top.” But it doesn't have to be.
We all need safe spaces of support. If you are reading this and realize you don’t have a space for yourself like this right now, I encourage you to cultivate it!
Community is always the answer.
Big hugs,
