How are you really?
Your heart might be heavy right now, and I just want to acknowledge that.
With the pandemic, it may feel like we’re backpedaling.
When you look at the world, you may feel sad.
However you might be feeling, I want you to know it’s okay. It’s human. And I want you to imagine that I’m reaching through the computer and giving you the biggest hug possible.
I also want to remind us that we have an incredible opportunity to be there for one another and support one another, today and always.
On our team, we have a practice that we call personal check-ins. During personal check-ins, we take time to share whatever might be on our hearts and minds, connect on a personal level, and show our care for one another. We begin every meeting in our company with personal check-ins. Every conversation. Every everything. We choose to start our conversations with them because we want our team to know we mean it when we say we put people first and that we care.
When I tell others about this ritual of ours, I’m often challenged with statements such as, “We barely have enough time to get through our agenda in a meeting. How can we add personal check-ins on top of that?” and “Is there really a need to do this every day?” I understand these perspectives because at one time, my thoughts were the same. There were certainly periods in my journey when I didn’t prioritize connecting personally in our meetings and saw it as something that took us away from our agendas. Now I see personal check-ins as a critical ingredient in creating cultures where people feel cared for. In the early days of the pandemic, we leaned into this practice more than we ever had, and it's what got us through. It’s what got me through.
Now, more than ever, we need to be checking in with one another. What good is it if we get our work done but we don’t help others feel cared for in the process? And the thing is, it doesn’t take much. We really can get our work done and check-in every time we interact. It’s a choice.
To help, I’ve compiled some of our favorite check-in questions we use on our team:
How are you today? How are you really? This helps us peel back a layer or two and get to the heart of how someone might really be feeling. This is typically used more in a one-on-one setting.
1-10, how would you rate how you feel at work and outside of work, and why? This question can help us pinpoint where people are and why they feel the way they do. We typically use it when we have a longer amount of time allotted for our meetings.
Choose one word that describes how you are feeling today. This can help us quickly read the room and see where everyone is emotionally before beginning a meeting or conversation. It’s a great method when you don’t have a lot of time, and it also sparks one-on-one conversations afterward if you find there is someone who needs extra love.
What is on your mind and heart today? This can help us understand where each person is mentally and emotionally and what they are “bringing” with them to the meeting or conversation.
All you need is one question. One.
Not everyone has to share. It’s okay if someone wants to pass. It’s okay if you choose a set time in the agenda for personal check-ins and stick to it so that the rest of the meeting can stay on task. It’s okay if you split people into smaller break out groups to check in if you have a large group. It’s okay if you give each person a time limit and actually set a timer. And most importantly, it’s okay if you don’t have solutions to offer after someone checks in. In fact, personal check-ins aren’t about solving anything. Empathy isn’t about problem-solving. It’s about saying I hear you, I see you, I validate how you are feeling, and I want you to know you are important to me.
It feels like so much in our world is out of our control right now. May this be a reminder that checking in on one another is something we can always do, no matter what. What an amazing opportunity we have to care for one another as we continue to ride the ups and downs and all that is to come.
Hugs,
Kristen
PS: We are so excited to announce our next set of dates for the Human Leadership Program! March 16 + 17th! We hope you’ll join us. Tickets are first-come, first-served and will be capped. A few attendees from our last program helped us create this video to share what the experience is like. You can get your ticket here.
PPS: I hope you’ll join us for REAL TALK tomorrow, Wednesday, at 11 a.m. ET! I’ll be interviewing someone very special to me . . . my coach! Join by registering here: https://bit.ly/3kWe2kT
