8 months alcohol-free
Happy 8 months to me!
I recently celebrated 8 months alcohol-free.
If you’re new here (welcome!), I set a personal goal to go without alcohol for a year. I always set one personal goal that will challenge me and teach me, and this one has taught me a lot. I’ve learned so much about discipline and health, and ultimately, this challenge has taught me that I don’t have to do something just because everyone else is doing it.
For some reason, 8 months feels like an especially huge milestone for me. To think I’ve gone 8 whole months with saying no, with not having a drink after a hard day (even in the midst of a pandemic), with not caving in to a craving for a glass of rosé on a hot summer day, with not giving in when I see photos all over social media of people enjoying drinks—I’m proud. I’m proud because choosing to abstain from something you once really enjoyed is HARD.
I chose to take a yearlong break from alcohol for a few reasons: On a health level, I felt like taking a break from drinking would be really good for my body. I’ve worked on the foods I put into my body, I’ve gotten into the habit of working out daily, and I couldn’t ignore the fact that drinking just isn’t healthy. And also, I really wanted to get clear on what the next decade of business looks like for Student Maid. This is something I’ve been stuck on. It’s a really hard and overwhelming question. It became one of those things where it was easier to go to happy hour than it was to sit down and actually map out the future. I knew I wanted this to be a year of clarity, a year of working through all my big ideas, and I knew that cutting alcohol would only lead to more clarity.
I decided to quit cold-turkey. It was Thanksgiving weekend with my family, we were at the beach, and I was thinking about the future of Student Maid. I knew that I didn’t want to feel stuck anymore, and I wanted to make 2020 the best year I’d ever had, both personally and professionally. I decided not to wait until the New Year to start my challenge. I began on November 30th and haven’t had a single sip since.
At first, it was really hard. There were so many holiday parties and social gatherings, and I was usually the only one abstaining. It’s really funny what happens when you tell people you aren’t drinking. They have so many questions! (And if you are a woman, they will probably ask if you are pregnant.) I told everyone who asked that I was doing a health challenge. I got a lot of strange looks, and some people made fun of me for my choice. But I’ve realized that when people react negatively, it’s likely because my decision to avoid alcohol is triggering the insecurities they have about their own relationship with it. Once I realized that, I didn’t let anyone’s comments bother me. The people I love and who love me know why I’m doing this, and they support me.
A lot of people ask me if Spiros, my fiance, drinks. He does and it doesn’t bother me. I’m doing this for me; I don’t need him to do something just because I am doing it. That being said, he holds me accountable, and it’s important to have someone in your life who will hold you accountable to your own personal challenge, whatever that may be. When I celebrated 6 months of being alcohol-free, I wanted to have a glass of champagne to celebrate. Spiros and I were at lunch, and I tried to convince myself that it was okay to have just one. He reminded me of my goal, and told me that if I had a drink, it meant I had done a 6-month challenge and not a 12-month one. So I didn’t drink.
Now that I’m 8 months in, I can tell you it’s so much easier. I have alcohol-free alternatives that I drink when I have a craving, and I have cravings far less than I did at the beginning. I also notice that I don’t think about drinking. At first it was all I could think about—that I couldn’t have something. Now, I don’t see it that way. I see it as getting to choose what I want to put into my body. When I have weak moments, I remember the results. I feel physically better than I’ve ever felt. My sleep is sound. My skin is hydrated. I have made more progress in my business since November than I’ve ever made, even in a pandemic.
Taking on this challenge has required me to really reflect and understand why I enjoyed alcohol so much. If I’m being honest, it chilled me out. I loved how, after a long day, I could have a glass of wine and be in relaxation mode. I loved how I could meet my friends for drinks on the weekends and forget about all the things I had on my plate. I loved the glamour of ordering a fancy, expensive cocktail. But you know what else I realized? While I enjoyed all those things, I didn’t really love them. I didn’t love drinking to avoid or numb the issues that might have been causing me stress. I didn’t love having a headache or average sleep after a night of drinks with my friends. I didn’t love skipping early morning workouts because of a wine hangover.
I’m often asked if I’ll ever drink again, and the truth is that I don’t have an answer right now. Many people I admire are sober, such as Brené Brown and Glennon Doyle. I think it’s Brené who says that we can’t selectively numb. When we drink, we numb the hard things, and that also means we numb the joyful moments. I want to live a joyful life, and I’m learning that the sacrifice it requires is working through hard things instead of avoiding them. At the very least, I know I will never, ever again drink to avoid facing something hard or something I don’t feel like doing.
One of the most eye-opening things for me in this journey has been reading what is called “quit lit”—books written about quitting alcohol. In case you are interested in an alcohol-free experiment, here are some of my favorite books and why I love them:
Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol: Such a fascinating book with loads of research about why women drink and why our society is obsessed with alcohol. The author, Holly Whitaker, urges readers to go against the grain and find the courage to stop doing something even though everyone else is doing it.
The Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life: This book by Annie Grace helped me understand what happens to our bodies when we drink. It helped me understand why it can be so hard to make the choice to stop drinking and was the first book I read in my alcohol-free journey. Highly recommend if you want to understand the health benefits of choosing to abstain.
We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life: This memoir by Laura McKowen is about her journey to becoming alcohol-free. She shares the heart-wrenching story of how alcohol destroyed her life and her family and how choosing to quit gave her her life back. It helped me see what can happen if you don’t control the relationship you have with alcohol.
We all have habits that are hurting us. We become addicted to these habits because they make us feel good in the moment, but in the long run, they hurt us more than they help us. I’d love to invite you to think about what you do to numb or avoid hard things. Is it Netflix? Sweets? Alcohol? Shopping? No matter what your habit might be, I don’t think it necessarily means we have to stop doing that thing forever. It might just mean taking a break, like I’m doing, and reflecting on how this habit might be hurting you so that you can redefine your relationship with it.
We always have the chance to look in the mirror and decide we want to be a healthier version of ourselves. It’s never easy, but it’s always rewarding when you make a choice that will teach you, challenge you, and change you.
I hope this post gets you thinking. Thanks for following along, and I promise to continue to keep you updated on my progress. 8 months down, 4 to go!
Big hugs,
