Permission To Keep Screwing Up
Last week, I had the honor of emceeing a two-day global virtual leadership event.
I kicked it off by sharing that I wrote a book called Permission to Screw Up, and then I cheekily told the audience that meant that I had permission to screw up over the next two days because, inevitably, I would. We all had a chuckle, and of course, they probably thought I was kidding. I thought I was kidding too.
Before I go any further, let me paint a picture of this event for you: The script was 35 pages. I was responsible for all transitions, for introducing and interviewing speakers, and for sharing my own anecdotes throughout—all from behind a screen. And because there were people attending from all over the world, it was in a wildly different time zone: It started at midnight my time and lasted until noon, two days in a row. I spent days preparing (and altering my sleep schedule) so that I could be at my best.
And it paid off! The event went great...except for that one time I screwed up. (Come on, you already knew it was coming.)
A few hours into the first day, I cut someone off right in the middle of her presentation. She had paused for a moment, so I thought she was finished, and I thanked her for speaking and moved along to the next section. As it turns out, she was not finished—in fact, far from it. She was on slide 1…of 6!
The tech team immediately started messaging me in our behind-the-scenes communication channel: “YOU JUMPED IN!” “Oops!” That’s when I realized what I had done.
I immediately came up with a plan. I told the tech team to go back and that I’d make it funny.
After the segment that I had skipped ahead to was finished, I looked into my camera at the virtual audience and said, “Remember how I told you at the beginning of today that I might screw something up? Well, I did. Told you so!” We laughed, we went back to the presenter, and she finished her presentation beautifully.
After the event, I looked at the app where attendees could write about their experience. I saw a comment on the discussion board about how it was powerful that I publicly gave myself permission to fail and acknowledged my screw-up out loud. I saw another person chime in and say that it took courage to own it and to own it live, in the moment.
After I read that, I realized something. To me, this experience was no biggie…at all. I didn’t get knots in my stomach. I didn’t feel bad about myself because I’d messed up. I just felt like…me. And I realized how freeing it was to 1) be able to give a disclaimer that I might mess something up, and 2) be able to admit a screw-up out loud, laugh, and move on. It allowed me to be authentic and to not think twice about it until I read the comments in the app. The whole experience reminded me that the permission to screw up is a permission that only we can grant ourselves—but that not everyone does.
I thought this was a timely story to share because this past Saturday, Permission to Screw Up turned three! I can’t believe it! It’s gone by fast.
I wrote the book to help people. I wanted to use the stories of my own mistakes to show that it’s human and normal to screw up sometimes, in ways both big and small. I wrote it to empower people to own their imperfections and to help people see that when we can do that, we become more authentic, more human, and more beautiful.
Last week after my event screw-up, it dawned on me that in writing the book, I also gave myself permission. Before Permission to Screw Up was a thing, I wouldn’t have been able to say on a (virtual) stage in front of a global audience of top execs, “HEY, I’M PROBABLY MOST DEFINITELY GOING TO SCREW SOMETHING UP TODAY.” I mean, how cool is that? With the pressure of trying to be perfect out of the way, I just get to be myself.
And here’s the thing: We all get to do that. We all get to be ourselves. We don’t need anyone else’s permission for that. We only need our own permission.
Happy anniversary to Permission to Screw Up, and thanks to our nearly 31,000 readers who are giving themselves permission to be human and make mistakes. In doing so, you are inspiring others to do the same.
In case you haven’t heard, we released a book discussion guide a few weeks back. If you find yourself struggling to give yourself permission to screw up, maybe it’s a good time to dive in and do the hard and meaningful work so that you too can step into the person you are instead of the one you feel pressure to be.
May we all continue getting it wrong so that we can keep learning, inspiring, and of course…laughing.
Hugs through the screen,
Kristen
PS: Have you heard of my new LIVE show every Wednesday at 11 a.m. ET? Think of it as real talk. I share the challenges I’m navigating as a leader and I also take questions from you! You can register here: https://bit.ly/3kWe2kT. It’s the same link each week. Hope to see you there!
