If you're going to be there, be there
© Pete Longworth
I used to consider myself the Queen of Multitasking.
In meetings, it was common for me to “participate” while answering emails. On my layovers, I’d call to check in with members of my team while trying to navigate the airport and find my next gate. In the car on the way to give a talk, I’d be planning my speech while trying to post on social media. On vacation, I’d be working in the hotel lobby while trying to enjoy time with my family.
I used to be proud of how I could “juggle it all,” but now I realize there was nothing to be proud of. Not being fully present on the task or person in front of me hurt both my work and those around me. Both deserved my full engagement and focus, and I wasn’t giving that to anyone or anything.
There’s a phrase I’ve really been trying to live my life by. I’m not sure who came up with it, but I love it: “If you’re going to be there, be there.” Not half-there. Not 75% there. If you’re going to do it, go all in. Otherwise, why do it at all?
What I’ve learned is that it’s hard to be there. Between leading a team, running a company, traveling for speaking and consulting work, and having a family, I have limited time to get things done. We all do. It takes conscious effort to be present, and while I certainly haven’t mastered it, every day I try to be better than I was the day before.
For example, just last week I gave a speech at an international cleaning convention in Las Vegas. This was a rare treat for me: Normally, I spend my time helping organizations in other industries, so it was super special to be in a room with people who have the same business challenges I do. After I speak, I usually head straight back to my hotel room and catch up on work. But not this time. This time, I decided to offer free, one-on-one meeting slots in 15-minute increments to help people with their challenges. Within moments, I was booked for six hours straight. I got to spend time getting to know others in my industry, learning from them and using my experience to help them. Sure, I could’ve answered a lot of emails and gotten a lot of work done in those six hours, but choosing to be present was a lot more fulfilling. Why would I travel all the way to Vegas to be cooped up in my hotel room answering emails?
After my one-on-one appointments ended that day, the conference team asked me to join them for dinner. In the past, I might’ve declined due to my workload, but this time, I chose to go—even though my workload was the same. As a result, I made lasting friendships that I would’ve never made otherwise. When I got back to my hotel room, I decided to set a timer for an hour, focus, and get as much done as I could. To my surprise, I got caught up from the day. I know it’s because I was fully engaged in the work in front of me.
I believe we all have a choice. We can choose to be there, or we can choose to be distracted. I now realize it’s better to postpone the meeting if I can’t pay attention. It’s better to reschedule the call if I’m trying to navigate my way through an airport. It’s better to get behind on work and enjoy the vacation instead of pretending I can do both.
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize I was half-there in everything I did. It might mean getting less done at times, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I’d love to challenge you to do the same:
If you’re in a meeting, be there.
If you’re talking to someone, be there.
If you’re traveling, be there.
If you’re working on a project, be there.
If you’re spending time with your kids, be there.
And, because Thanksgiving is this week: If you’re sitting with your loved ones around the dinner table, be there.
You only get one life. Make it count.
Big hugs,
