Ask yourself: Is this something only I can do?
Don’t mind me, just screwing up again ;-)
I had a super important ah-ha in a recent coaching session that showed me–once again–that your journey as a leader is never over.
This session was special because, for the first time, Monique joined a session with me and my coach. She and I had decided that as my thought partner and the Chief of Growth of the business, it would be really helpful for her to be a part of our conversations so that she could provide context and insight and help move action items forward. My coach was all-in on the idea, and our first session was everything I could have hoped for and more.
My coach began our session with the same four prompts he always does:
Rate your happiness 1-10 and explain your score.
What’s keeping you up at night?
What’s giving you energy?
What’s taking your energy?
We usually spend the entire session unpacking my answers, as they typically lead to the deeper areas where I need to focus. This time, both Monique and I answered the questions, and it was really special to share our reflections together.
When it came to the question of what was taking my energy, my answer was this, word-for-word: “What takes my energy is the shift . . . going from speaking to business development to coaching groups to client calls. It requires me to be so intentional about managing my energy so that I can give my best.”
There was a lot to unpack there. As we did, it led to an even deeper challenge: In our last coaching session before Monique joined us, I told my coach that my top priority for 2022 is to write my second book. But how could I possibly add that into the mix if so much of my mental capacity and energy was already taken up by these other important aspects of the business?
We discovered that the issue for me isn’t time–I have writing time blocked out in my calendar already. The issue is mental capacity. The work I do takes so much mental capacity and emotional bandwidth that sometimes, when I have the time to write, I’m not able to.
My coach pounced on that immediately. “If you say the second book is your biggest priority,” he said, “then something’s got to shift. Is there anyone on the team who can take something off your plate?” And then he asked the question: “Are all the things you’re doing things that only you can do?”
It wasn’t the first time I had thought about this. I truly felt stuck. The things on my plate–writing and giving speeches, talking to clients to craft our work together, leading coaching sessions–these were things I truly thought only I could do. I thought I had empowered our team to work without me in every area possible. We’ve worked really hard over the years to spread out my workload and take things off my plate so that I can focus on the stuff that’s in my sweet spot.
I started to explain this, but then Monique chimed in. “I want to challenge you on that,” she said. “I think there might be some things you can collaborate on with other people that you’re not right now.”
She pointed out that Rachel–our Chief of Content, who wrote Permission to Screw Up with me–could be my thought partner for speeches. That we could outline and write them together, much like we had done when writing the book. That we could collaborate on every piece of content-related work, and that doing so might free up a lot of mental capacity for me. Then, when I had the time to work on the book, I might actually have the capacity to write.
I felt so silly. How could I have missed this? Of course Rachel could partner with me on speeches and crafting content for events. We’ve been working together for more than 10 years. She knows my brain and she knows how I work. She wrote an entire freaking book with me. She works on this blog with me each and every week. Her title is Chief of Content. HELLO!
Isn’t leadership funny sometimes? We’re never done growing.
When I really think about it, though, I realize that it’s not only that I missed something right before my eyes. My lack of collaboration in this area also has a lot to do with ego. I’ve managed to write and prepare for my speeches and events just fine by myself for all these years. Plus, it’s me that people are hiring. It’s my name on the contracts. If there’s anything I should be doing 100% on my own, it’s this. Right?
That’s what my ego tells me. But inherently, I know it’s not true. I know that whenever I have a chance to collaborate with someone else, the outcome is always better. Two unique perspectives. Two sets of strengths instead of one.
And so, I decided to give it a try.
Right after our coaching session, Monique and I pitched the idea to Rachel, who was immediately on board. And just in the last few weeks, working with her on my speeches has made the biggest difference in my creative capacity. It’s been a game-changer. I can’t fully describe it, but I’ll try.
My brain feels clearer. I have more space to think. I feel more prepared and more confident going into speeches knowing that I’ve talked them through with someone before delivering them. I look forward to our meetings and to Rachel challenging my ideas to make them better. I am delivering better work because of our partnership. And most importantly . . . I have the capacity for book #2.
I’m sharing this with you because I don’t think I would have ever come to this realization without my coach asking the question and Monique helping me see what I couldn’t.
Most times, we need other people to step in and save us from our own egos. If you’re struggling with capacity or with the weight of your workload like I was, I really encourage you to do what I did: Consider the question, “Is this something only I can do?” Talk it out with someone you trust to be honest with you. You might end up with a reality check–and you may discover your next game-changing move.
Big hugs,
Kristen
P.S. Our next Human Leadership Program is coming up on March 16 +17!! Join us and learn how to become a more authentic, human leader. Tickets and more info here!
P.P.S. Looking for a way to invest in yourself in 2022?! We’d love to invite you to join our monthly coaching group. You can find all the deets here!
