Why 5 flights in 5 days aligned with my values
A few weeks ago, I had a really busy weekend.
From the outside, people might call me nuts: I took 5 flights in 5 days . . . and that was by choice.
Here’s a breakdown of what it looked like:
Thursday, October 31: Flew from Houston (my home where I spend most of my time) to Michigan (my home where I live part-time) to see my bonus daughter on Halloween. My husband and I go back-and-forth from Houston to Michigan every other week to spend time with her, and Halloween is one of her favorite holidays. I wanted to see her costume and be there as she celebrated all of the candy she got.
Friday, November 1: Flew back to Texas less than 24 hours later for a speaking event in Dallas the following morning.
Saturday, November 2: Had my speaking event and flew back to Michigan. Landed at 10:45pm.
Sunday, November 3: Had brunch with my husband and our daughter and then immediately flew to Atlanta for another speaking event the following day.
Monday, November 4: Had my speaking event and flew back home to Houston, just in time to get ready for our Human Leadership Program that kicked off that week.
Are you stressed out just by reading that?
That’s the feedback I often get about my schedule, and I get it. It is a lot. But here’s the thing: To me, it was such an amazing weekend. I didn’t feel stressed at all. And that’s because it was a weekend that was completely aligned with my values and my definition of work/life harmony.
Every weekend does not look like this (I rarely have weekend speaking events), but it’s not uncommon for me to juggle family and work like this. I value both my family and my work. Both are huge parts of my life.
On this particular weekend, I was faced with some tough decisions about my schedule: These speaking events were career highlights for me, and I didn’t want to turn them down. And at the same time, I wasn’t willing to skip a weekend with my family. That is precious time, and I know I can’t get it back. So I figured out a way to make it work: It meant taking more flights and going back-and-forth to make it all happen, but it was a perfect example of living my definition of work/life harmony.
It also meant I had to set boundaries. I opted out of dinners and smaller events with my clients so that I could fly home to be with my family during those times instead. The result was a weekend full of special family moments. In many ways, I think that as a family, we were more intentional about spending time together because we knew my time at home that weekend was limited. We were more present with each other and made the time we did have count.
In the past, I wouldn’t have handled it this way at all.
I would have made myself choose between work and family for the sake of efficiency—and it probably would have left me feeling bummed. I would have either not gone home at all and likely blamed my work for causing me to miss a weekend with my family, or I would have turned down those speaking events and felt sad because I was missing events that were really exciting to me.
I used to rely a lot on external guidance about how to use my time. I’ve often felt pressure from the people closest to me—whether that’s my team, my family, or my friends—to do things more efficiently. Their intentions are so pure, of course, and I know that they all have my best interests at heart, but making the more efficient decisions they suggested often left me feeling resentful.
Not too long ago, I shared a post about how I’ve learned that resentment is the symptom of an unmet need. Through a lot of self-growth, I’ve learned that this is my life and that I need to make decisions that make me feel good and address my own needs. And sometimes, that looks like five flights in five days. How I spend my time doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, but if it makes sense to me, that’s all that matters.
The more I make decisions that align with my definition of work/life harmony, the more I notice that I’m not nearing the place of burnout or overwhelm that I’m all too familiar with. Burnout can definitely be the result of working too much or too hard, but that’s just one part of it. Another part cause can be not spending time on what matters most to you and failing to align your decisions to your highest values.
The other thing is that work/life harmony looks different depending on the season of life I'm in. Sometimes I prioritize family and work takes a back seat, and sometimes I miss out on family events to prioritize my work.
How about you? What does work/life harmony mean to you? Have you ever noticed that how you chose to spend your time makes sense to you but maybe not to others? I’d love to know. Hit reply and tell me and my team what is coming up for you!
Big hugs,
