Steve's Advice
I want to share a story with you about a person I met recently named Steve.
I had just arrived in Connecticut, where I was going to lead a team through two days of leadership development. When I first arrived, the team was having a dinner. There were maybe 100 people there. I sat down at a table where everyone was sharing how long they had been at the organization, and I noticed that there were a lot of people with long tentures—10 years, 15 years, etc. I commented on how amazing that is, and someone at the table said, “Yeah! Well, Steve is also here, and he’s retiring after 33 years at this company.” So I said, “Woah! 33 years? I’m 34, so that’s a long time!”
I asked the group to point him out. He was making his way around the room, and I could tell that he was so full of energy. When he got to me, I said, “So, Steve, I heard you’re retiring after 33 years.” We ended up talking about his career, and I asked him, “What advice do you have for someone who is just starting their career today?”
I loved the advice he shared, so I want to share it with you. Here’s what he told me:
Take chances. Put yourself out there.
You can always learn something from every person you meet. You have to be curious and open-minded and remember that there is always something to learn.
Speak your mind. Speak what you’re thinking. Share your ideas; don’t keep them inside.
When something doesn’t go your way, it’s OK. Don’t let your ego get involved. Have patience. You don’t always have to be the one who gets your way.
No matter what, you can be kind. You can be kind even when you’re holding someone accountable. You can be kind even when you’re having a difficult conversation. You can be kind in your pursuit of achieving results. Kindness, no matter what.
Then, he said: “I only know these things because I screwed all of them up. I learned how to lead by learning how not to lead.”
Well, how’s that for right up my alley? I told him about how my book is called Permission To Screw Up, and we agreed that we wished we had known this when we were just starting out: That you don’t always get it right, and actually, you have to get it wrong to learn.
This conversation happened on the first day that I spent with this team, so I decided to open my session the next day by sharing our conversation and the five pieces of advice that Steve shared with me, which was really special.
That evening, there was an awards dinner, and Steve was being recognized for his tenure at the company. We sat together for a bit and talked more about this next chapter in his life. I’ve always been so curious about retirement, so I asked him how it felt. What did he plan to do in this next phase of his life after leaving the company he was a part of for 33 years?
So far, Steve had two days of retirement under his belt. He told me he woke up on the first day and did things he really wanted to do. He made coffee, played a game of online chess, did some reading, and then did some things he wanted to do around the house. On his second day of retirement, he got almost 9 hours of sleep, and he said, “I can’t remember the last time I slept that long!”
He then went on to tell me about some of his hobbies and passions and what he hopes to do in this next chapter of life. He was very clear that he and his wife would take a bike ride together in their neighborhood every day. (She just retired, too.) He told me that he and his friends started growing these really hot peppers, and one of his hobbies has become making pepper jelly. He asked me if I liked pepper jelly, and I said, “Steve, if you made it, I love it.” So he told me that before I left, he would get me some pepper jelly. (He said he always brings the jelly with him in case someone wants it.) Before he left the next day, he kept his promise: He found me and gave me a jar!
Back to the awards ceremony. When they honored Steve, they played this amazing video with all of Steve’s teammates sharing the impact he has made on them. Later, in his remarks, he said that he can’t believe this time has come, and he’s so grateful for such an amazing career and all the people who shaped him.
We took the picture above at the awards dinner because we felt like we had this connection. Here he is at the end of his career, and here I am in the beginning phases of mine. As I looked at Steve and heard what people shared about him, I thought about how I hope that one day, people will share those same sentiments about me. I thought about how I’m excited to one day look back on my career and see the things that I learned and thank the people who taught me those lessons.
May we all take Steve’s advice to heart! I hope Steve’s story gets you thinking about the impact you want to have on those around you like hearing his story has done for me.
Big hugs,
Kristen
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