My biggest takeaway from Four Thousand Weeks
I’m in the middle of reading a book that has totally shifted my perspective on the concept of time management.
Disclaimer: I’m still reading it. But it’s already had such an impact on me that I am breaking all of my rules: I’m going to tell you about some of my takeaways before I’ve even finished it!
The book is called Four Thousand Weeks, and it offers a new way to think about your time and how you make decisions around what to do with it.
I’ve had the book on my shelf for quite some time now. Not too long ago, I was texting back and forth with one of my aunts, and she mentioned that she had listened to a podcast where Brené Brown referenced how much she loved the book. After I read her text, I happened to look up at my bookshelf, and what do you know?! Out of the hundreds of books in my office, Four Thousand Weeks was the first title I noticed. I felt like it was a sign that it was time to read it.
The title had always intrigued me; I wondered why it was called Four Thousand Weeks. A few pages in, I learned that it’s because that’s roughly how many weeks a person lives if they live to the average life expectancy. The author shares that he asked many people the same question: “How many weeks do you think you have in your life?” Their answers were always far beyond four thousand. We have less time than we think we do.
The book starts out by going way back in history before the concept of “time” ever existed. For example, before there were clocks, people couldn’t describe in minutes or hours how long something would take. The passing of time probably didn’t register with them as much because they weren’t constantly reminded of it by literal ticking clocks. They were likely not very stressed about managing their time back then.
Today, we are so much better coordinated, productive, and efficient than humans were all those years ago. But as much as the concept of time has helped us, it also really stresses us out. Many of us—myself included—have become obsessed with getting better at managing our time and squeezing in everything that we want to do in our one precious life. We are constantly aware of time passing and all that we haven’t yet done. I thought it was interesting that we get stressed out about something we made up. Do you ever think about that?
My biggest takeaway from the book so far is that the way to free up your time isn't to become more efficient.
In fact, that is a trap.
It made me think about my own life: I have spent years learning how to be more efficient and effective with my time. I have now become so efficient that I am able to fit so much into my days. And that’s the thing: The more efficient we become, the busier we get because of how much more we can fit onto our plates. Instead of freeing up time, we just become more efficient at this so that we can have more time for that, and so on and so forth.
When I read that, I had this hard moment of truth with myself. I realized that by nature, I am not a very structured person, but because of my obsession with making my time count, I have become very structured. I time-block my calendar, I make a list of my priorities each day, I delegate, I outsource. And while these things are great and have helped me tremendously, I crave unstructured time. I crave the days that aren’t planned out by the minute. I crave the days where I can tell a friend that I will meet them for dinner without having to look at my calendar and schedule it.
Do you ever have these thoughts?
The answer, the author says, is not to become even more structured and efficient. It’s actually the opposite: It’s to accept your limits as a human being and find peace in the fact that you can’t do it all. It’s realizing that you have to make hard choices about your time. Trying to squeeze in everything is not only impossible, but also, it’s not really living.
This is a hard pill to swallow (especially as a high achiever), but it’s also really freeing to think about finding peace in the fact that you can’t get it all done, so don’t even try. In fact, the author encourages us to get comfortable with feeling “behind.” We have to get comfortable looking at our inboxes and saying, “There's no way I'm going to get to all of these emails today.” We can't let things like that hang over our heads. We can't let them affect our mental health. We have to be okay with saying, “Even though I had all these things I wanted to do today, I only got two things done. And that's okay.”
I have already been putting what I’ve learned from Four Thousand Weeks into action.
First, I’ve broken a habit I had for years: Every day, I would make a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish that day. I would stay focused on crossing things off that list until I accomplished as many of them as I could, but most days, I wouldn’t get to them all. Instead of finding peace in that, I admit that a lot of times, I let my unfinished list hang over my head and stress me out. But now, I realize that even if I got through the entire list, there would still be a new list tomorrow. It’s not like I would ever be “caught up.” So why would I allow it to stress me out? For the first time in my career, I am okay with having the kind of day where I go to bed without a single thing on my list crossed off.
Second, let’s talk about my emails. I have always tried to end the day with my inbox at zero. But why? It won’t stay at zero. When I wake up the next morning, I’m going to have more emails. In fact, I’ll have responses to the emails I sent the day before! For the first time, I’m regularly going to bed with emails left unread in my inbox. Finally, seeing that little unread notification doesn’t bother me.
I’m also not posting on social media every day. I wish I could. But it’s a lot of work, and some days, I just can’t get to it. I realize now that no one else put that expectation on me; it came from me. Everyone knows I am human. Surely, they don’t expect me to post every single day.
I have also started telling myself that it’s okay not to respond to my team’s messages within the same day, even when they need something from me. This is a hard one, and it’s something I never thought I could let go. I always want to be available to support them. When I told them about what I was learning in the book and how I wanted to give myself space to take longer to respond to things, the team encouraged it. They actually said it can stress them out when I respond so quickly. (The irony!)
I’m even giving myself permission to go to my hotel room and take a nap after giving speeches instead of getting work done. When I’m on the road, I can fall behind in my work, and that can cause me to want to spend time catching up, even when I’m exhausted. Since I started reading this book, I’ve taken more naps than ever, and it’s been wonderful.
I’m learning that the sooner we can come to terms with the fact that we just don't have time for it all, the sooner we will be able to really enjoy our lives. We’ll feel less of the guilt and shame that comes with “wasting” time. We won’t let those feelings take the joy and fulfillment out of life.
I’m not saying that any of this is easy. Accepting that you don’t have time for it all may mean making hard choices. How many times do we say to ourselves, “I wish I had time to do that”? Well, you do. But it might mean deciding not to do something else that’s also important to you. Over the last few weeks, there have been moments when I've said to myself that I wish I could go for a walk or I wish I could go on a date with my husband, and in those moments, I've actually said to myself, “You know what? I can and I will. It just means choosing not to finish this other thing and letting it wait until another day—and that’s okay.”
What is your relationship with time like? Do you struggle to accept that you just can’t do it all? Do you ever fall into the efficiency trap? Please tell me I am not alone! Hit “reply” and tell me what resonated with you from this post.
Reminder: Next week is Break Week, so you won’t have a post from me in your inbox on Tuesday. We’ll see you right back here on October 1st with our regularly scheduled programming!
Big hugs,
