How to shift your mindset from defeat to optimism
If you’re feeling frustrated and defeated by the sluggish and uncertain state of the economy in the U.S., you are not alone. I’m right there with you, and a lot of our clients are feeling it, too.
One of my biggest strengths is taking action, getting things off of the ground, and making momentum. (According to Gallup’s StrengthsFinder, that makes me an activator.) So when things outside of my control move slower than usual, it can cause me to feel unmotivated.
It’s not just uncertain times or an unpredictable economic landscape that can make me feel this way, though. Sometimes, launching a new project or initiative that takes time to get off the ground can have the same effect. So the question I find myself asking is: How do I sustain my motivation and optimism when things aren't happening as quickly as I might like them to?
To demonstrate how I’ve worked through this in the past, let me tell you the story of launching our first ever retreats back in 2019.
Before the pandemic, we had the idea to host an in-person retreat. We wanted to bring people to Gainesville, Florida—where our company was headquartered at the time—and spend a couple of days in a room together, diving deep into leadership growth and development. I was so excited to launch the retreat, but when the day finally came to launch, it was . . . anticlimactic, to say the least.
My plan for selling seats to the retreat was to send emails to a handful of clients I thought might be interested. I expected that the seats would fill up immediately—but they didn't. I had a theory as to why: Coming to this in-person retreat meant committing time away from home and work. For many, it meant traveling out of state and incurring those expenses. It also meant paying for a seat at the retreat. All things considered, it was a big investment for attendees—and it was our first time ever launching something like this.
I remember feeling so let down and discouraged that seats weren’t filling up like I had imagined they would. That same week, I had a meeting with my coach. It was a Friday morning. When he asked me how things were going with the retreat, I was honest and told him that I just wanted to forget about it for the weekend and come back to it on Monday. But he helped me see that it was really weighing on me, and if I felt this way today, I would likely feel this way on Monday, too.
My coach then asked me to rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how confident I was that I would ultimately achieve my goal. How confident was I that we would sell every retreat seat? I don’t remember exactly what score I gave, but I know it wasn’t great—probably a 5 or 6. Then, my coach asked me what I could do that was in my control to elevate that score. How could I boost my confidence in myself and in the outcome? I knew the answer: I could invest more time in reaching out to people. I could think differently about who might want to come to a retreat like this. I couldn’t control whether anyone signed up, but I could control my part of the equation and the level of intention that I put into it.
I left our session feeling reinspired. I remembered why I wanted to do this retreat in the first place. My activator strength kicked in, and instead of waiting until Monday to get back to work on the retreat, I decided to spend a few hours reaching out to people that Friday. I went to a coffee shop for the rest of the afternoon and thought deeply about who would be great additions to the retreat. Though I got no immediate responses or sold any seats that day, I immediately felt a shift in myself. I was taking action toward something that I really wanted, and that action allowed me to have hope and cultivate optimism instead of defeat. When I left the coffee shop, nothing had changed. I didn't have any more yeses. But I felt like I was moving toward something I wanted instead of remaining stagnant.
I will never forget it: The next morning—Saturday—I woke up to a yes in my inbox. It was the best feeling. And later that week, a few more trickled in. My confidence grew tremendously, and I continued my plan of intentionally reaching out to people. We ultimately ended up selling out that retreat, and we had such a good response that we started offering dates for a second retreat, which we sold out as well. (And since then, we’ve taken what we taught at that in-person retreat and moved it to a virtual setting so that anyone can attend and there isn't as much of a cost barrier. Speaking of that, our R&R Retreat is happening on December 7th, and you can get your ticket here!)
This experience taught me that no matter what, keep moving forward. Use the power of forward momentum to focus on what you can control, which is what you add to the equation. I have the same mentality today. No matter what the conditions are around me, no matter how slow something is moving, I ask myself how I can activate and keep up my forward motion.
I don’t mean to say that we can never let ourselves feel defeated or unmotivated. Giving yourself the time and space to feel that and take a break might be just what you need to feel re-energized, and I need that sometimes, too. But if we allow ourselves to stay in the cycle of giving up or stopping when we feel defeated, we're never going to reach the outcomes we want.
The next time you feel the sting of defeat, I encourage you to dive back in and take one step that’s within your control and keeps things moving forward. That one step might just be what helps you shift out of defeat and shift into hope and optimism.
Here’s to continuing to move forward . . . together!
Big hugs,
