How I’m shifting my mindset from scarcity to abundance
In January 2024, I was invited to attend an intimate speaking retreat.
It was an exclusive, invite-only retreat for speakers to grow personally and professionally, and it was facilitated by two world-class coaches. When I got the invite, I was honored. I signed up immediately because I knew it was a rare opportunity.
But… I didn’t go.
Why?
If you’ve been here for a while, you may remember that last January, I had some personal challenges happening in the background. I had a melanoma scare, and I was recovering from a pretty intense biopsy (thankfully, everything turned out fine). I could have gone to the retreat—and actually, it may have even been a good distraction at the time—but ultimately, I decided I wanted to stay home. I had a lot of work travel scheduled for later that month, and going to the retreat would have meant even fewer days at home during an already busy season.
When I made the decision to back out, I felt good about it. But as 2024 progressed, I couldn’t help but wonder what I had missed out on by not going. I wondered what kind of growth I could have experienced if I had attended.
I was lucky enough to be invited to the same retreat again—this time, in January 2025. When I saw the dates, I realized I already had an in-person speaking event scheduled during that time, and my first thought was, “I can’t go to the retreat. I guess it’s not meant to be.” But then, something inside of me kept whispering and reminding me that I had really wondered what I’d missed out on by not going last time. And it wasn’t just FOMO; deep down, I knew I really wanted to go. I also knew that if I didn’t attend this year, I’d have to wait a whole year for the next one, assuming I was invited again.
I decided to see if I could find a way to make it work. I asked my client if they had any flexibility with their date for the in-person event—and it turns out that they did. I explained that I had the chance to go to this retreat, and they were so happy to accommodate me and shift the date. It made no difference to them whatsoever. We rescheduled my event with them to the following week, and now, I’m going to the retreat.
If you happen to be reading this post the day it comes out (Tuesday, January 21st), the retreat takes place this upcoming weekend! I will be headed there in just a few days, and I couldn’t be more excited.
But there’s more to this story and this post. You see, this post isn’t really about a retreat. It’s about a clear shift in my mindset from last year to this year.
The first time I was invited to this retreat, I didn’t want to go because of what the opportunity would have taken away from me. But this time, I’m going because of what I will gain from the experience. In fact, I have more reasons not to go this year compared to last: There was the event I ended up rescheduling, of course, but also, I’m attending a family member’s funeral next week. In order to make it, I’ll need to leave the retreat a little early. It would have been very easy—and understandable—for me to back out of the retreat again. But instead of choosing one event over the other, I’m making some changes so that I can do both.
I couldn’t see it clearly last year, but this year, I can: At the beginning of 2024, I was operating from a mindset of scarcity. Not only was I focused only on what I would lose by going to the retreat and the obstacles to going, but I was also in a place where I truly didn’t want to grow. I felt stuck because I knew I needed to make some tough decisions about how I was spending my time: I was starting to feel like I was over my capacity and that my current approach was unsustainable. But at the time, I wasn’t ready to do anything about it. If you have read this blog over the last year, you know that in the months to come, I ended up making a lot of changes and hard choices about how and where I spend my time. But when I think back to how I felt in January 2024, I knew that the retreat would challenge me in a way I wasn’t ready for. I knew that it would cause me to look at things that I had been avoiding, and I was feeling really resistant to being vulnerable and taking myself on in that way.
Were my reasons for not going last year valid? Absolutely. That’s where I was in that season in my life, and I’m really proud of myself for honoring that. But today, I am operating from a completely different mindset. I have grown from that moment, and now, I’m focusing on abundance.
It wasn’t until I made the decision to say yes to this year’s retreat that I realized how much has shifted for me in the last year. I know that I’m going to be challenged to grow, and I am ready. I know that I’m going to have to get vulnerable, and like any retreat where there’s self-reflection, I’m going to have to get really honest with myself about what’s working and what’s not. I’m ready for that, too. I also approached the obstacles to my attending the retreat from a place of abundance. When it came to my client, I thought, do I really have to choose between a speaking event and a retreat? What if it were possible to do both? All I had to do was ask. (As for the funeral, had that been scheduled during the retreat itself, I of course would have chosen to attend that instead of the retreat. There are certainly times when we have important life moments and we must choose one thing over another, and for me, my family always comes first. Had this happened last year—with the funeral being the day after the retreat ends—I would have used that as a reason not to go to the retreat altogether. But this year, I saw an opportunity to still attend, leave early, and be there in time for my family.)
Looking back now, what’s surprising to me is that I didn’t realize that I was operating from a scarcity mindset. I never really saw myself in that way, and it was through coaching that I discovered it. Last year, we partnered with a company to help us take our speaking brand to the next level, and, as a part of that relationship, we had several coaching calls about the strategy for our business going forward. I really wanted the team to be on those calls, and it turned out to be a great place for them and for our coach to hold up a mirror to me and show me what I’d been missing.
Through those calls, it became very clear to me that I was looking at every decision as this-or-that—never this and that. Specifically, I thought that I had to choose between generating more revenue for the business or having the freedom in my schedule that I craved. I didn’t think it was possible to have both. For example, on a lot of our calls, we talked about how I wanted more unstructured time on my calendar. I wanted more time at home so that I could focus on writing, working on my second book, and spending time with my family and myself. I thought that meant that my only option was to increase my virtual speaking work and decrease in-person events—which would mean less revenue because my fee for virtual events is lower than my in-person fee. I had just accepted that was the trade-off, and it was one I was willing to make.
When I said this in our coaching calls, my coach and my team asked: Why? Why can’t it be both? Why does it have to be more revenue or more freedom? Why not more revenue and more freedom? Why was I limiting myself from the get-go?
With their help, I started to see that I could embrace the “and.” So that’s what I did: I began to question why I felt that I had to choose—and I began expanding my ability to operate from a place of abundance.
So here we are now in January 2025. When I look at my calendar for this year, I have more virtual events scheduled than I did last year and more time at home. For the in-person work I am doing, every single event is a “heck yes!” and I am excited to travel for each engagement. I have more unstructured time on my calendar to write than I’ve had in years. And… our revenue is growing. This last year has taught me that we can do both—as long as we’re open to it.
The thing about a scarcity mindset is that we may not even realize we’re operating from one. Some signs to look for: You see obstacles more than opportunities. You see every choice as this-or-that or one that requires you to make a trade-off. You focus more on what you may lose than what you may gain. With an abundance mindset, you see opportunities and limitless possibilities. You live in the “and” so that you don’t have to choose between two things that are really important to you. You’re open to expansion and growth.
I believe that our mindset has a huge impact on how we show up in all parts of our lives: at work, at home, with friends and family. And at times, we might be in scarcity mode. It’s not a bad thing; it’s human. We just don’t want to stay stuck there. It’s important to stay curious about our mindset and how we may or may not be holding ourselves back. If we recognize that we aren’t in the right mindset to do certain things, then it’s probably best to wait until we are. I know that today, because I’m in a different headspace than I was last year, I’m going to get the most out of this year’s retreat and really make it count.
I’m curious about you: Would you say that you’re operating more from a place of scarcity or from abundance? Is there an example that you can think of from your life right now? I’d love to know. Write to me and tell me more!
Big hugs,
