How I’m bringing joy to the book-writing process
It’s been a while since I’ve given an update on my progress with Book #2, and I figured it’s about time!
As of this writing, I’ve drafted the first chapter and outlined the rest of the book, complete with the stories, themes, and takeaways I want to share in each one.
But my favorite update of all?
I'm having so much fun! Every single time I have sat down to work on this book, I have felt 100% joy and 0% stress. I’m truly loving the process and enjoying my writing time.
That’s a stark contrast to how it felt to write my first book, Permission To Screw Up. When I started working on it in 2015, I didn’t consider myself a writer. I didn’t have a blog or social media presence. I didn’t exercise my “writing muscle” on a regular basis like I do now. I wasn’t clear on what I wanted to write about, and I felt a lot of pressure because of my book deadline. The process felt tense, stressful, and frustrating. I often forced myself to sit down and write even when I really didn’t want to.
With my first book, I really over-structured myself: I told myself I had to hit a certain word count each time I sat down to write. There were plenty of weeks where I worked on the book all seven days. While I do think structure can be helpful and deadlines can certainly be powerful when we are working toward a goal, when I look back, I can clearly see that those structures sucked all the fun and creativity out of the book-writing process. The 2+ years I spent working on Permission To Screw Up were also some of the most unhealthy years of my life. I got very little sleep and even got a kidney infection moments after submitting my final draft because of how much I had overexerted myself. I often resented the book and the process.
We live and we learn. It was my first time writing a book. I had all the best intentions and did the best I could with what I knew. I’m proud of the book I published.
But this time?
This time, I’m committed to doing it differently. I have only one goal: I want this project to feel fun, joyful, inspiring, and like I am following my creative flow. That will make this a meaningful project for me . . . and I know it will also lead to a much better book.
There is one challenge with this way of doing things, though. Giving myself permission to follow my flow means no strict writing schedule and no strict deadlines. I’m not progressing nearly as quickly as I could be if I did set that structure for myself. I’ve had the first chapter written for some time now, and I haven’t yet moved on to the second. Part of me feels like that’s okay because I’m following my energy and enjoying myself. I’m also still thinking deeply about the themes in the book and getting really clear on my ideas. But while that’s all great, another part of me wonders if my book will ever get done. It’s hard to find the balance between having fun and making steady progress.
I decided to bring this topic to a recent session with my therapist: Should I go back to deadlines and structure?
She reminded me about a chat we’d had before: Sometimes, setting deadlines or creating a structure around something can change the way we feel about it. For example, if we set strict rules around working out every single day and make it feel like something we must do, we might start to dread our workouts. We also might not give our best to our workouts. Instead, if we give ourselves permission to follow our energy, we might feel more excited to work out and have better results while doing so.
My therapist asked me to think about the chapter I have already written. How long did it take me to write it? What was the quality?
I realized something pretty incredible. Chapter One is more than 10,000 words long—and I wrote it in only a couple of sittings. I’m really happy with the quality. I feel like it’s some of my best work, and the feedback I got from my team reinforced that.
I contrasted that with how it used to feel when I forced myself to write every day. It would sometimes take me multiple days to get a few quality paragraphs down, and a single chapter took months.
My session with my therapist reminded me to trust myself. When I feel energized to write, I write. It might take longer for the book to be finished, but if I keep going this way, I’ll be able to write it in fewer writing sessions and have a heck of a lot more fun in the process.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll reintroduce structure and accountability at a future point. For now, I’m going to trust and listen to myself when I feel I need that.
If you’re feeling bogged down by a goal, I want to encourage you to think about what would happen if you thought about it differently. What would it take to make the process fun?
Most of all . . . what would happen if you trusted yourself?
Big hugs,
