How honesty in leadership can transform a person’s growth
Hi, friends! Our team is back from Break Week, woohoo! I am still out for this week, but my team is back in full swing. We prepared this blog before I left for my time off!
This week, I want to talk about a recent conversation I had with a friend and fellow leader who came to me with a tough dilemma.
Basically, there’s a person on my friend’s team who really wants to grow and feels that he’s ready for a promotion, but he hasn’t demonstrated that he has the skills required for the role he wants. My friend believes in this person’s potential and has done everything they can think of to help: They’ve given feedback, set expectations, and even provided training. But none of it has led to a real shift in behavior or skill. From my friend’s perspective, this person is not ready for the promotion because his strengths do not align with the role.
My friend told me that they already had a meeting scheduled with this team member to talk about the likelihood of him getting the promotion. But from what my friend had seen, they knew that he wasn’t going to get it. Still, they were debating between two options: 1) They could let this person spend the next few weeks before the meeting thinking he still had a chance, or 2) They could have an honest conversation with him now and tell him exactly what he would need to work on in order to be eligible for the promotion in the future. In the meantime, my friend would keep this person in a role that better suits his existing skills and strengths.
As I thought about how to advise my friend, I reflected on something that someone brought up at our most recent Human Leadership Program. We were talking about failure and growth, and I had invited people to share about an experience that felt really hard and defeating at the time but turned out to be a powerful lesson. One participant talked about a time when she failed to get a promotion she really wanted, and she was absolutely devastated. But later, the hiring team reached out and gave her really specific feedback about why she didn’t get the promotion and where she would need to improve to be reconsidered the next time the opportunity came around.
She took that feedback to heart, and she dedicated a year to making those improvements. And it worked: The next time she was eligible to apply for the promotion, she did, and she got it! She shared that the initial rejection ended up being the best thing for her because it sparked tremendous growth in her and helped her think about what she really wanted. She said that she was so grateful to the hiring team for being candid with her and taking the time to give her their feedback. When she finally earned the promotion after working so hard and investing in herself, it felt even more special.
I shared that story with my friend to remind them of the opportunity they had in front of them. If they had the courage to be honest with their team member and give him the feedback that might be hard to hear sooner rather than later, they could have a huge impact on his growth. In my experience, it’s the people who are the most honest with us who help us grow the most—and that honesty is a sign that they truly care about us.
In leadership, while we often play the role of cheerleader, we also have to remember that being honest about what we see is what sets people up for success. These aren't easy conversations to have: It takes courage to be honest about where someone needs to improve. But it’s also how we show people that we really care about them. And one day, maybe they’ll look back and realize that our honesty was one of the best gifts that they ever got.
I hope this gets you thinking about the importance of honesty and the impact you can have on others!
Big hugs,
