Expectations vs. Reality: 2022 Edition
Hi friends!
Oh my goodness, how I have missed you. How was your holiday?
Mine was . . . unexpected. Let’s just say that it didn’t go as planned. I got COVID. My family couldn’t come visit for Christmas. I was devastated.
At my lowest point, I took a picture of myself sobbing. I guess I wanted to remember what I felt and look back on it one day. And now I’m making it the photo to go along with this post because maybe, in a way, you feel a sliver like this. 2022 is certainly not starting how we might have expected.
Me, sobbing
Here’s the weird part: While the break started in a very bummer of a way, it ended up being the best break I’ve ever had. I had so much alone time that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. I watched so many movies (my favorite thing to do when I have time off). I felt inspired (not obligated) to get some work done. I came back to work feeling more refreshed, recharged, and ready to take on the year . . . more than I ever have. What a turn of events!
I’ve been thinking about the gap that sometimes appears between our expectations and our reality. About how it feels when things don’t turn out like you hoped, and how you may react when you realize reality isn’t following your original plan. I’ve been thinking about how these moments can affect our mindset. And how, when our mindset isn’t in the best place, it can affect those around us.
Even though my break turned out to be wonderful, there were a couple moments when the reality of the current phase of the pandemic really hit me. The first happened at a UPS Store. After I was cleared to leave isolation, I went to drop off a package. When I got there, I saw a sign on the door that said, “Closed for 30 minutes because we are short-staffed and we have to eat lunch.” I was immediately frustrated. There may have been a curse word involved. I just wanted to get this one errand done, and I couldn’t, for reasons outside my control. GRRRRRRR, ya know?
But then, last week, something else happened that totally changed my perspective. I went to the airport to fly to Michigan. The flight was delayed a bit, just like thousands of other flights were. Once I finally boarded the plane, I could feel the tension: People were upset about how late we were going to be. Just before takeoff, the pilot came on the loudspeaker, and he said, “Thank you so much for your patience with the delay. We are so short on pilots and crews right now because of COVID that this is my fifth day in a row of working when I was supposed to be off. I just want to say that I really appreciate you flying with us, and I’m going to do my best to get you where you need to go as soon as possible.” Right away, I could feel the mood in the plane change. People started clapping, saying, “Thank you!” to the pilot and crew.
I thought back to my frustration at the UPS Store, and I asked myself, where was my empathy in that moment? Was I really upset about the very human need for people to eat and take a break? Yes, it was inconvenient for me. Yes, it threw off my day a little. But this is the reality of the world we are living in right now. Organizations are short-staffed, but people still need to eat and take breaks. There will be disruptions. I can choose to be angry about these frustrations or I can choose to bring empathy instead.
The pilot’s announcement summed it up for me: We are all dealing with expectations that don’t match reality. And I think we all need to reflect on our empathy level, no matter how tired we are, no matter how inconvenienced we feel, no matter how sick of this whole pandemic we are. We have to be honest with each other about what we’re up against, whether it’s a smaller workforce and shorter hours, limited time or mental bandwidth, or flight delays. We all have to commit to better aligning what we expect with what is realistic right now. That goes for me, too.
It’s easy to get stuck in the thought of, “This is like 2020 all over again.” But I want to challenge you: It’s not. The reality is that we’re not where we were two years ago. We know so much more about the virus and about what it’s like to live with it. We know that the pandemic—and plenty of other big, structural and social issues—are still making life harder for the vast majority of people and businesses. And we know that a little empathy can go a long way to making life more bearable right now.
And at the same time, it’s okay to feel like you don’t know what to do. Just because we learned from 2020, and just because we are more prepared in some ways, it doesn’t mean that we need to beat ourselves up by saying things like, “I’ve been through this before, and I should be able to manage this better.” Schools are closing again. Some of us are back to working at home while taking care of our children. Some of us are juggling working while taking care of sick loved ones. Some of us are dealing with being sick ourselves. No matter how many times we may have experienced this, it’s still hard. We are human. We don’t have to manage it better or perfectly. It probably should be a mess. It’s okay. Reality is messy right now. But one thing we can always have, no matter how messy it gets? Empathy for ourselves and others.
As we head into this new year and try to navigate what it means to live through even more uncertainty, I encourage you to think about the expectations you have for yourself and others right now. Are they realistic? Do they meet the moment? What can you do today to show up with more empathy and understanding? If we can do that, dare I say that 2022 could be the best year ever?
So many hugs to you. It feels good to be back, and I’ll be here for you every step of the way.
Kristen
P.S. Our next Human Leadership Program is coming up on March 16 +17!! Join us and learn how to become a more authentic, human leader. Tickets and more info here!
P.P.S. Looking for a way to invest in yourself in 2022?! We’d love to invite you to join our monthly coaching group. You can find all the deets here!
P.P.P.S. We have decided to hit “pause” on our LIVE show as we figure out new, exciting ways to serve you in the new year. Stay tuned to see what we have in store! In the meantime, make sure you are following me on Instagram (@kristenhadeed) because I occasionally go live there!
