5 lessons I've learned from writing that also apply to life
Hi friends!
I’m back from Break Week, feeling so refreshed and recharged, and I can’t wait to dive into Q3.
Just before the break, my team and I wrapped up the process of writing our proposal for Book #2. Working on this book already feels so different from the experience of writing Book #1. I’ve been reflecting on why that is, and I think it’s because we learned so many important lessons from writing Permission To Screw Up. I’m proud of us for taking them to heart as we embark on this new book journey
I thought I would share those lessons with you because they’re not just for book writers: While they’ve helped make the writing process easier, simpler, and more fun, they’ve also helped me in other areas of my work and my life.
I hope these tips help you like they’ve helped me! Here they are:
Make it bad. I got this feedback from an editor while I was writing Permission To Screw Up. At the time, I had a habit of holding on to chapters for a really long time before I submitted them for feedback because I felt like they needed to be polished before anyone else but me saw them. (I know . . . writing a book about screwing up while also being a perfectionist . . . the irony.) I guess I was feeling the pressure of being a first-time author, and I was afraid of judgment and of not being good enough. My editor, Stephanie, gave me the best advice. She told me to “make it bad.” She said that by holding onto chapters instead of submitting them, I was unintentionally preventing collaboration and not allowing my team to help me. If I just focused on “making it bad,” we could make it better together. But if I didn’t submit anything . . . well, we couldn’t publish a book at all. Stephanie told me to save the chapters on my computer as “Crappy First Draft Chapter 1” and “Crappy First Draft Chapter 2,” and so on and so forth. Even just naming them this felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. It gave me permission to submit rough drafts, and it helped us make so much momentum in the project as a result. This time around, I have really leaned into making it bad. I’m sharing drafts and ideas with our writing team that aren’t even fully fleshed out so that I can get feedback and incorporate it as I go along. It’s already making the process much smoother and faster . . . and a lot more fun!
Be open to different perspectives and people challenging your thoughts. With the last book, it was hard for me not to take criticism and challenges to my ideas personally, especially because that book held so much of my personal story and heart. And, let’s face it: Writing is personal. But with Book #2, I’ve been intentional about being completely open to ideas and feedback, and I’ve made an effort not to take it personally when someone challenges my thoughts. In fact, the difference this time is that I’m asking for feedback and I truly want to know what doesn’t sound clear and what doesn’t make sense. I expect feedback from our team this time. In other areas of my life, I know that asking for feedback and gaining different perspectives turns good ideas into great ones, so why not here? Because I’m constantly asking for and acting on feedback in this process, the team knows I really want it, and they’ve been a lot more open with their ideas and suggestions. It’s helped me see different sides of things that I wouldn’t have seen had I not been open to being challenged, and their collective feedback has totally changed the direction of the book—in the best possible way!
Block out a time to write and commit to it. With Permission to Screw Up, I would attempt to write all day. I thought more hours spent in front of my computer meant more progress and a better book, but that turned out to be very, very untrue. I remember one day when I stared at my screen for hours and hours and hours, and I only came up with ONE sentence! That was pretty common for me: I would just force myself to sit in front of my computer, hoping the words would come. I didn’t have any boundaries around writing, and I didn’t really have a writing schedule. I was working all the time—at night, on the weekends, on vacations . . . and I resented it. It made the process totally unfun, and a lot of times, my work wasn’t that great because I was totally burned out. This time around, I’ve got a schedule and I commit to it. When writing the proposal for Book #2, I leaned into shorter bursts of writing, and I kept my writing to the work week only—definitely not on weekends. I now block out writing time in my calendar and I honor that time. If I’m having a day where the words aren’t coming to me, I challenge myself to “make it bad,” and I still use the time that I’ve allocated. But if I’m on a roll and the ideas are flowing, I’ll keep writing. Committing to a schedule and having boundaries around my writing makes me feel like I have some control in the process and like I’m not sacrificing every part of my life for the book . . . which definitely happened the first time. I also find that I’m producing a higher quality of work.
Give ideas time. With the first book, I felt this immense pressure to have my ideas figured out right away. With this book, I’ve done a better job of giving myself permission not to rush my thoughts or inspiration. It’s taken us nearly a year to bring the proposal for Book #2 to life, and where we started is so much different than where we ended up. I feel really good about where we landed because I gave myself the time and space to think deeply and intentionally. I gave myself time to think about the stories I want to tell and how I want to tell them. Giving ideas time means that sometimes my team and I don’t have things figured out by the time we would like to according to our writing schedule. But I’ve noticed that we end up with better ideas when we walk away and think on things instead of using our meetings to force conclusions or to try to get to a final decision.
Clear thinking is clear writing and clear writing is clear thinking. This is the biggest, most important thing that my writing team and I have learned in developing Book #2. The clearer your thinking, the clearer your writing . . . and vice versa. With Permission to Screw Up, we never created a formal outline or proposal. As a result, it was very hard to write the book. I wasn’t clear on the direction, the big ideas, or the structure. I sort of figured things out as I went along, which made the process stressful and also caused me to submit the manuscript way beyond the deadline. For Book #2, we started with an outline and a proposal. We gave ourselves time to get very clear on the big ideas and takeaways of the book, the chapters and their structure, the stories, and so on and so forth. If something didn’t make sense, we took the time to get clear and get unstuck. Now, when I look at the outline, I’m so clear on what this book will look like. And as a result, I know I will be able to write it so much faster than I wrote Permission to Screw Up.
There you have it! These are the 5 lessons from Book #2 that have not just helped me in writing, but also in work and life. I hope they help you like they’ve helped me—and, of course, I promise to keep you updated on our book-writing progress!
Big hugs,
Kristen
P.S. Looking for a way to invest in yourself in 2022?! We’d love to invite you to join our monthly coaching group. You can find all the deets here!
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While you’re here . . .
Thanks For The Feedback: This book has helped me get better at receiving feedback in all areas of my life. It’s certainly coming in handy throughout the book-writing process, as I’m learning not to take feedback about my writing and my ideas so personally.
The War of Art: This book has been a game-changer for me in terms of overcoming creative blocks and fighting the urge to procrastinate with my writing. Read this one if you find yourself resisting work that matters to you!
Bird By Bird: A classic that I recommend to anyone who wants to write a book. Read it once and then read it again. Not kidding! It’s helped me let go of perfectionism and give myself permission to “make it bad” so that I can make more momentum in the projects I’m working on.
The Now Habit: This book will help you evaluate how you use your time. This is where I first learned about boundaries and time-blocking my calendar so that I can create a schedule where my work works with my life. It impacted me so much that I asked our entire team to read it!
I love writing ideas down in notebooks. There’s something about putting pen to paper that sparks my creativity. I love this one and this one and this one!
